Lost phone!

I can't believe this - after everything else with the shop and Tarek I've now gone and lost my phone - AGAIN! This time I don't know what happened to it. Definitely had it last night cos I was texting Tarek. Did I leave it somewhere? Was it nicked? I have no clue and its really doing my head in.

I've not reported it missing yet. Instead, I got Tarek to send a text to it, saying that I really need it back and giving his number for a contact. Fingers crossed someone will see it.

Why do these things keep happening to me?

Maybe something good, maybe something bad

Sorry for the delay in posting any new entries, but it was a well weird weekend.

Starting with Friday evening. I was working at Food Etc and these girls came in. They were taking pictures of stuff with a mobile, not just like stuff on shelves but the walls, the tills and everything. I didn't really pay a lot of attention – cos like, y’know, Friday evening, you get a lot of freaks - but you'll find out why it’s worth a mention.

Saturday, Agent X got me sitting down with Tareq and having it out about stuff, see if we can link up again - be friends and all that. So like the short, no-psychobabble answer is: yes, but it took six hours, mega-loads of coffee and a whole cake. And really I still totally don’t understand why he's gone with some of the decisions he has made in the last month, and like I disagree quite hard with a couple of them, I do totally respect that they're his decisions and his view’s not my view, and - whoah, getting a bit psycho-talky there. But he's still totally Tareq, my best mate, and that's what matters. And we finished the day with some major Gears of War action - wicked.

Sunday, late, I get a call. The Food Etc where I work has been done over.. No one knows who did it, and like the police are all over it so I can't say too much, but there were six or seven of them and they made a serious mess of the place. So I reckon the girls I clocked on Friday were going over the place, checking out where the CCTV cameras were, and the stuff worth nicking. So if you were one of them, then I've told the police everything, and they've got Friday's video tape as well as Sunday's.

It freaked me out a bit, I tell you.

(I bet it was the gang off the Eastburgh Estate. Bet you anything.)

I am having a seriously ravin weekend.

That is all for today.

Old faces

Life is being totally off again.

I was having a quiet one at work, stacking shelves and doing texts with Julie, and then this real quiet voice says, "Ahmed?" And of all the people I so wasn't expecting to see in the Food Etc. on Manor Street, it was her.

No, not Aishwarya Rai. But close. It was Agent X.

I was all like ‘what are you doing so close to the Eastburgh?’ and she - well, she made me swear I would keep what she told me tight between us. But we totally did talk, a whole load, until Santosh got the boss thing going and told me to do some actual work before I went home. And yeah, of course Agent X asked about Tareq, so like I told her what was going on with him and what I knew, and she went quiet. It must have been a bit of a shock. I know it was for me.

Good to see you again, Agent X.

Wage slave

This work stuff isn't too bad. I mean I can’t say for definite till I've been at it for, like, thirty years or something, but right now I'm having a wicked time. The others down at Food Etc. are a right laugh, and like loads of people I know come into the shop so it’s dead social, and there's all the past-its-sell-by-date nosh I can eat.

Mind you, it doesn't leave me much time for important things like blogging, or less cool stuff like homework. At least it beats monging out in front of the telly every night. Though it's totally going to mess with my plans for this weekend. I've got to do something about that.

Parents: officially not so bad.

I start my first job in an hour. The first step on a young man's path to adult responsibility and stuff. I wouldn't mind but there's this whole uniform thing, and it's orange.

But I have to give it up for my folks... I overheard Dad on the phone earlier, talking about me and the job, and he sounded totally proud. It was cool actually. Plus he said something about the money, the half of my pay they said was going into household expenses. Well, it's not, it's going into a 'university fund'.

Guess I better make sure I blitz the exams in a major way then.

All about the Benjamins

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

I was giving it out on the phone to Dinesh about my seriously low cash situation, and how my parents are way tight with the pocket money. Which is all totally true, by the way: they’re always telling me to ‘save and watch the pennies’, but don't hardly give me enough to buy the stuff I need for school! So I'm moaning, and my mum sticks her head round the door and is all like, "If it's more money you're after, why don't you get a job? Grown boy like you, sixteen and everything."

I thought that was the end of it, but at dinner she and Dad were sat there with smug faces on, and he starts in on how a sixteen-year-old should be helping to support his parents not the other way round, and it's time I paid something towards the household bills, and how I should get a job. And I'm ready with the whole “I have exams coming up and you want me to spend more time at the mosque anyway” bit when Dad says, "And we've found one for you."

So I'm the newest employee at the Food Etc. on Manor Street, right by the Eastburgh Estate. Great, right? Working for Tareq's uncle Manoj, evenings and weekends – oh and like my homework had better not suffer because of it because we will take no slacking from a son of ours or it's off to Bangladesh with you, state of emergency or no state of emergency. Guess when I start? Tomorrow. And half the dosh is going to my parents!

This entry is not about Tareq

So, um, school. And football. And stuff.

I had a go with Dinesh's Nintendo Wii. Seriously mad fun, and I rock at the tennis game. But is it just a novelty thing? Not sure it'll still be fun in a few months. But then people said the same thing about the DS.

And like is it me or is there just nothing on TV right now? Celebrity Big Brother is total try-hard city and the only thing worth watching is CSI - and they're all repeats. Tried watching The Trial of Tony Blair, but it never actually got to the trial? So what was that about?

Oh and, you know, like just mentioning it in passing, not actually, you know, writing a blog entry about him, I saw Tareq again after Friday prayers today. I tried to say I'm sorry but he dissed me, and then I just tried to say anything to him and he turned his back. He wouldn't say a single word to me.

What a loser.

This entry is not about Tareq. This is about me.

I had a total bang-up with Tareq at school. Major serious stuff. If I'd kind of thought there was a chance of saving our friendship, I'm so not there any more. Things were said that it's going to be really hard to un-say. It almost got physical, but there were a couple of others there who pulled it back, which is good because Tareq’s not small and could seriously do me in. Even so, I still felt like I'd been punched in the face a few times.

And I feel like so bad about it, like a bit of me's been torn out. I totally don't know this person Tareq's become, and I don't know if I should give one any more.

So I'm not going to write about it any more. In other news... um... have you seen the pics of that new Apple iPhone? Just mega slick. Really, a huge jump forward for phone design. Some day all mobiles will be that phat. Shame I don't have a best mate to call any more.

So I was totally wrong that Tareq wasn't going to call me. He was on the phone first thing - all I said was "Tareq! How are you?" before he totally did one on me.

He read this blog. All of it. And he thinks I hate him.

Actually it's worse than that. He thinks I've dissed him big time - made him look like an radical crazy, a dog, a criminal, a bad Muslim, totally wacked, and a total psycho. He reckons I’ve got a vendetta against him because he's like a purer, better Muslim than I am. He reckons I'm some up himself twat because I had the chance to go and live in an Islamic country and turned it down. He reckons I totally envy him because he's all better-looking and cleverer than I am, and can pull a woman (though how that works with being a better Muslim I'm not sure). He reckons I've made him like this big loser joke and the world’s laughing at him cos of what I've written. And then he’s all like how I should go to his meeting next week because I'd learn a lot, but he knows I won't because I'm "too British".

So now he’s all like how our friendship never really existed and it’s totally over anyway.

I didn't say anything. I didn't get a chance. It wasn't much of a two-way - more him doing a rant with me going "But..." and him totally ignoring it.

He also warned me off mentioning him in this blog, so I'll have to find something else to write about.

But I may not be blogging him up any more but that doesn't stop me worrying about him.

Changing of direction

So now I know why Tareq's been keeping it lowkey for most of this year. I was coming out of Friday prayers earlier and in with the usual gang of teenagers giving out leaflets I saw Tareq. He gave me one of his leaflets - something about a call to action and the Americans bombing Muslims in Somalia - and was all about how I should come to it. He was totally off though, like angry, but kind of proud-angry. Hard to describe. I asked him how he was and if he'd heard from Agent X but he totally dissed me.

I asked some mates about the crew he was hanging with, and they reckon they're guys who were involved in Al-Muhajiroun until it was disbanded - they reckon they may be part of the Saviour Sect now. So like how’s Tareq got himself mixed up with these radicals? That's so not like him. He was always totally chilled, pulling stunts and stuff. I know this thing with Agent X and falling out with his family has really done his head in, but I dunno about this. I just want to talk to him about it, but I know he wouldn't answer or call me back.

It's big time scary to see a mate behaving so weird, and it's seriously sad too.

About the only thing I know for sure is I won't be going to that meeting.

Staying!

I've had worse weekends, I suppose.

The family sat me down for the whole what's going-down-this-year talk on Sunday and so the well-good (not) plan of sending me to Bangladesh came up again. I totally knew it would, and Julie and me had come up with a plan of our own. I hit them with:

1. If they pack me off to Bangladesh, who's going to look out for my kid sister and my younger cousins at school?
2. To show I can be a totally good Muslim in Britain I promised to spend more time at the mosque and more time doing stuff in our community (Like I'll get a part-time job or something).
3. And I won't go out with girls from outside the family-approved community either (cos what Julie and I are doing totally isn't dating, right? I mean like we hardly ever see each other, because she's in Coventry.)

There was a major lot of talk, but by the end the big Bangladesh plan was on hold again, which is completely wicked. Nadia did mega backup too: she's been having a pretty duff time in her class and having a big bro around means the bullies don't hassle her so much.

I think it's all come up because my family were really freaked out by the whole Tareq thing just before Eid, and they don't want me doing the same thing. So like they totally didn't say I can't see him ever but they made it so clear they don't want me hanging out with him so much. But like he's my oldest mate init? I can't just dump him.

Mind you I've not actually had real communications with Tareq since last Wednesday when he was going a bit mad about everything. That's so like him, when trouble hits he just like totally shuts down and turns it off - makes his own space away from his friends and tries to sort things out on his own. I guess he reckons that his friends might be on at him not to be such a loser or not to do anything mental. I totally hope he hasn't done anything mental this time.

Big bother

I want to talk about a top gadget that people, like my family, don't seem to have clocked yet. It's the OFF button on the TV remote. Yes, actually, you don't have to sit glued to Celebrity Big Brother - you have a choice. But, like, I'm pretty sure that this amazing invention isn't going to change anything, at least not on our couch and not for the next month.

I don't get why sane, intelligent people (and my family) can switch off their brains and get totally into ten people who are, were or might be slebs (I mean who's heard of Donny Tourette or Towers of London before this?). I mean they’re seriously drab people, they’re all about their sad lives and how they’re like all famous and stuff and really, like, who cares? Not me.

But, you know, I can't help feeling some big respect for that Ken. Never heard of him, never seen any of his films, but come on, he's 79 and he only came on the show because his house got torched He’s the only real thing on the show. Hang in there, Ken.

He's as mad as hell and he's not going to take it any more

Okay, Tareq's head is totally messed up. I thought he'd be like all sad, crying and romantic (he's totally soft really, but he'd kill me if I ever told anyone... oops) but he's seriously freaking out instead. Totally blames the Eastburgh Estate crew for what happened to Agent X, which is fair enough, but he's got a lot to be angry about and he's focusing it all on them. He hardly listened to anything I said, he just wants revenge.

If anyone's got any advice on how to deal with a friend who's going mental like this, please email me and let me know what to do.

So much for 2006

So that's a big ‘See ya!’ to the old year and I’m totally not gonna miss it. Though if half the things I’m suspecting for 2007 actually happen then in about 2 weeks I'll be looking back and going, "Ah, 2006... the golden years of my youth... we shall not see their like again."

UPDATE: just had a call from Agent X, the Anonymous Teenage Sleuth - still anonymous (to you lot, anyway) and still teenage but sleuth no longer. She's gone and shut down her blog and actually she’s totally left the estate after she got beaten up by some crew she's been watching and writing about. This is a total major shame. She didn't want to give out where she's moving to, but it's a serious miles and she's changing schools and everything. She reckons Tareq's seriously freaking about the news - which I can totally understand, because after his major bust-up with his whole family she was like his only support, and now she's gone too. So I'm going to have to step it up - be a proper friend to him. Serious. Poor old Tareq. 2006 totally sucked for him too.

And I so can't believe we're going to be back at school so soon – seriously, I've had half terms longer than this set of holidays – you know what I mean?

Anyway, first blog post of 2007 and still no mention of cool gadgets or football or any stuff that people actually want to read about. I will get round to them eventually, I do promise.