Result! Good guys 1, Eastburgh Estate 0.

We did it! Tareq's not moving to the Eastburgh Estate!

I went round to Tareq's place this evening, and we had this very serious grown-up meeting with him and his parents and his phone-finding girlfriend - she asked me to only call her Agent X on the blog, so Agent X was there too. She lives on the Eastburgh Estate and it turns out she knows it backwards.

So we talk for about an hour and show her the video I shot two weeks ago, of that flat being vandalised, and then Agent X pulls out photos of racist graffiti that's totally out of order and broken windows, and she's talking about all these cases of non-whites being driven off the estate by gangs of teenagers, and she was really impressive, like a lawyer off CSI or something. It was like being in court: People vs Eastburgh Estate. You could tell Tareq's parents were totally blown out at the end of it. His dad said, "Well," and his mum said, "That's given us a lot to think about, hasn't it?" and if you know Tareq's folks you know that means they're taking it in a really major way. An hour later they've decided: they're not moving. Which is great. After Julie went, I don't think I could stand someone else going away. I know that Eastburgh's only half a mile, but it feels like another country. One where there's a war going on.

Agent X: totally cool girl. I can see what Tareq sees in her. And she asked me if I wanted to help her with finding out what's really going on around Eastburgh, and I said well, maybe. There are boundaries with girls – especially your best friend’s girl – I’m not stepping over that line for anyone.

Phone crisis over!

The phone has reurned! Its in my haand right niw, wich is why mu typin is nor grete. Ill putt it dow. There. Better. So I have my phone, and by the way I hate Tareq.

Here's the deal. This girl emails me to say she's found the phone and can she hand it over. Tareq says it might be a trap - one of the meatheads from the estate tricking us so he can do us, so he (Tareq) should go instead of me, because he's bigger and did that kung-fu class when he was nine. I said okay and gave him the 30 quid reward money to hand over if it's for real.

So Tareq – the total dog - goes to meet her at this cafe, promising to come straight back, and an hour later texts my mum: "TELL AHMED: GOT YR FONE. CUTE GIRL. GOIN TO SEE BORAT. SEEYA L8R" And when I finally see him at school - next day - he says that the girl who found the phone was really nice and she didn't want the cash so he used it to take her out. They hooked up! On my money! And they've got another date set up for Wednesday! As I said – a Dog.

But I got my phone back! It's still blocked but I was able to get what I needed off it. Not the video I told you about, though that's important. Time for true confession – it was Julie’s number. The phone’s the only place I had it, and now she's in Coventry I had no other way to contact her. But I've got it now, and I called her, and we spoke, and I'm a happy man again.

No signal

It's been 3 DAYS and no phone. Big shout out to everyone who emailed - thanks big time for your concern. And no, I haven't tried calling it. The first thing I did when I realised it was gone was call my network and report it missing. Like you're supposed to, right? So they bar the number so nobody else can use it. So I can't call it. Which is totally braindead of me. I blame it on the punch in the head.

How I lost it, that's another matter. See, Tareq and I had gone to check out the estate, getting ourselves some inside knowledge so we could prove to his parents that it's like a total hell pit - remember I told you about their whole genius plan to move to loserville? Well, anyway, we found the proof - plenty.

This crew of total mingers were doing over a flat, you know what I'm saying - the whole spray-paint thing and kicking the door and stuff. It got nasty - totally grim. So the G-370 isn't the newest phone out there but it can take video, so I took video.

But then they clocked us and we had to hack it out of there with the barbarians right on our backs. We got away after a bundle but somewhere in the middle of it I dropped the phone.

We did actually go back to where I thought I'd lost it, later, but there's no sign.

This is TOTALLY DOING MY HEAD IN - I'M GOING TO EXPLODE. If you know anything, PLEASE let me know. There's 30 quid in it.

REWARD OFFERED FOR MISSING PHONE

I've lost my phone. I seriously need it back.

It's a G-370. Black case. AC carved into the inside of the battery cover.

I know the G-370's totally old and yes I could get a new one, but this so isn't about the phone. It's about what's on the phone. There's some smoking data on it and I need it.

OK so details: I lost it on the Eastburgh Estate - I think somewhere between Livingstone and Dever blocks and the main road. There's a path near some bins and I dropped it along there somewhere. I was hacking it away from some major trouble when I got caught big time and dropped it. Didn't want any more of a hammering so I just had to leave it.

There's a reward of 30 quid, which is all I can afford right now, and I've done some flyers and stuck them up round the estate. Yeah OK - maybe that's not so smart but I really, totally, seriously need that data back. So if you know anything or hear anything, get in touch. Please.

Estate of the Nation

Tareq's got a major problem. His parents want to move to be closer to Tareq's uncle's big new shop, so they can help out with it. So far, so OK but, here’s the kicker, the shop's in Piers Road. You know what I’m saying right? Eastburgh estate. And Tareq's folks want to move onto the estate.

Total insania, right? I mean, like these people have eyes right? How do they not see the graffiti around there? It doesn’t take a genius to know that anyone who's not like local aint welcome – I’m not even sure it’s friendly if you've lived there forever. But Tareq's folks are all like, "The property prices are very reasonable" and "This country is our home too" and "We don't know anyone on the estate who's had a bad time." Yeah – that’s ‘cos they don't know anyone on the estate at all!

Tareq's tried to persuade them that it's a totally duff idea, but they're not listening – he’s a teenager so like, duh. So he's asked me to help him. Another teenager. Strength in numbers maybe – I dunno. We need to prove that if the family moves to the Eastburgh estate it'll be all broken glass and tears and some very bogus stuff going down. We need a plan – I’m all out of plans. I think Tareq's got some idea from the way he's been scribbling in his notebook, and knowing Tareq it's going to be a bit mad, and someone will be sorry, and it'll probably be me. But I'll go along with it because what are friends for, right?

Putting the 'thick' in 'ethical'

So I saw this girl nick something today and it’s doing my head in.

I was in the newsagent and she’s paying for this Coke, and then she goes and asks the guy behind the till for some batteries. So he turns round to get them and then she grabs these Shoot Out packs from the counter and stuffs them in her pocket. Then she goes like, "Oh not those ones, I need AAAs, forget it," and walks out.

Total mind-melt! I mean what are you supposed to do? Run after her? Tell the guy? It's not like she was mugging someone, right? Nobody's been hurt. And it was only a few packs, about 3 quid. But if 3 quid’s OK then is 20 not? How much is crossing the line? I think there’s a grey area but I don’t know – I mean no one talks about this stuff do they? Or do people just split into two groups, "Stealing's okay" or "Stealing's not okay"?

I took some chewing gum from a shop when I was nine. I held it in my pocket all afternoon till it was all sweaty, and then I threw it away because thinking about it made me want to chuck. I guess that makes me "Stealing's not okay". But I still didn't do anything to stop her and it was wrong man – I do know that. So how wrong am I just watching her do it?

I've felt totally wack about it all day.

Sent to Coventry

Alright, alright, hands up - call the blog cops – random guy missing in action – wanted for slacking on his posting! Serious though - like I promised my mum that I would be "doing no swearing on the internest" (that's what she calls it) and everything and I'm going to stick to that, but... darn, fudge, sugar, zits. Poo, bottom and bum. JULIE IS GOING AWAY! SUCK CITY MAN!!!

She told me today. Her dad's got a new job in Coventry, with a house. Wicked and everything – I mean I didn't even know jobs did houses – cars yes – but a house, that is major. Julie reckons you only get a house when a company wants you in a serious way – like as soon as possible. So I mean it’s all good for them ‘cos they don't have to bother about looking for somewhere to live. But you know how soon is 'as soon as possible'? They're moving next weekend.

So yeah, this is the girl it took me most of the autumn to get the courage to ask out, and when I do she says yes and everything is totally wicked for three days until her dad comes along with his big job, and Coventry and the house and takes it all away. And she was the best thing that's happened to me all year (it's not been a great year.) And that's it. Piking Coventry.

At least I've got her number now. That's something.