Grand opening

Tareq's uncle opened his new shop on Manor Street yesterday, and you could totally say it went with a bang. So like Tareq's uncle, right - he's so not the sort of guy you'd reckon for a retail tycoon or something, he’s more kind of a moocher you’d expect to be hanging round in his folks' place playing World of Warcraft 24/7, but, get this - this is his third shop and the biggest yet.

So I go along with my folks, and Tareq's whole family are there munching their way through masses of those new Pringles (verdict: prefer Kettle chips) and being all like happy holidays and ‘eid mubarek’ and stuff. Then Tareq rocks up. With his girl, the one his parents told him never to see again. They stand outside the shop - so like everyone can see them through the big glass windows and there’s this major scene and everyone’s looking cos they’re snogging for what feels like three and a half days, and then she goes off and he comes in.

You could have cut the silence with a knife. A blunt one.

And Tareq is all like, "What?"

Well, there was major strife if you know what I mean - seriously aggro. His parents really had a go at him, and he was giving it back to them as good as he got, and the relatives were taking sides and it would have been funny if T wasn't my best mate and I wasn’t watching him totally wipe out the whole goodwill-to-all-men vibe with his whole family and everything every time he opened his mouth.

So his parents finally drag him out of the shop and back home, where the row went on. I think they're doing a ceasefire right now – there’s like regrouping and new tactics or something. But I think Tareq's totally nuked his relationship with his parents. You just know he's not going to be finding a Wii under the Christmas trii this year.

This has totally turned into 'What's Going On With Tareq?'-blog, hasn't it? More about me and my own depressing life next week, I promise.