Big bother

I want to talk about a top gadget that people, like my family, don't seem to have clocked yet. It's the OFF button on the TV remote. Yes, actually, you don't have to sit glued to Celebrity Big Brother - you have a choice. But, like, I'm pretty sure that this amazing invention isn't going to change anything, at least not on our couch and not for the next month.

I don't get why sane, intelligent people (and my family) can switch off their brains and get totally into ten people who are, were or might be slebs (I mean who's heard of Donny Tourette or Towers of London before this?). I mean they’re seriously drab people, they’re all about their sad lives and how they’re like all famous and stuff and really, like, who cares? Not me.

But, you know, I can't help feeling some big respect for that Ken. Never heard of him, never seen any of his films, but come on, he's 79 and he only came on the show because his house got torched He’s the only real thing on the show. Hang in there, Ken.